I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
