I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
