WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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