Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
