i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
