4 words: hood of his car
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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