Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
