theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
