sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
this just has baby written all over it
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
