I think I died a long time ago.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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