i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
