I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
