omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
