Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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