If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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