He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
