he puts the penis in happiness.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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