Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
