there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize