do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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