She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
