I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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