New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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