so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
