dude i'm inner monologue high
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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