come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
