I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
