Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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