Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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