she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
