last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
