Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
