i think i have two assholes
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
