hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
