wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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