i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
