the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
