i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
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It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
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I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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