Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Less talking, more tequila
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours