First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
