Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....

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  (503): Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby.... http://tfl.nu/qo4n
  Replies (11) Good night (2942) Bad night (462)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.

  (561): View more from Florida

  He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.

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  (561): I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class. (561): He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it. http://tfl.nu/mjkl
  Replies (18) Good night (6297) Bad night (1231)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.

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  (204): this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food. http://tfl.nu/5ycb
  Replies (9) Good night (1439) Bad night (4333)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things

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  (571): i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things http://tfl.nu/ommx
  Replies (30) Good night (2149) Bad night (3781)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me

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  (774): mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me http://tfl.nu/1umx
  Replies (12) Good night (1007) Bad night (5691)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He had a curved dick....must be a european thing

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  (401): He had a curved dick....must be a european thing http://tfl.nu/mrr2
  Replies (19) Good night (1257) Bad night (2357)
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  (845): View more from New York

  he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"

  (845): View more from New York

  where do u find these people!?

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  (845): he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life" (845): where do u find these people!? http://tfl.nu/mb20
  Replies (8) Good night (2716) Bad night (860)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.

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  (908): Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas. http://tfl.nu/cnc6
  Replies (13) Good night (3270) Bad night (634)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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  (201): MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/cgk3
  Replies (8) Good night (3328) Bad night (530)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.

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  (352): I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle. http://tfl.nu/6oed
  Replies (15) Good night (3294) Bad night (654)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.

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  (+44): mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string. http://tfl.nu/2xqf
  Replies (15) Good night (495) Bad night (1763)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...

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  (828): nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote... http://tfl.nu/xy7a
  Replies (2) Good night (1263) Bad night (448)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?

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  (541): Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde? http://tfl.nu/3wcs
  Replies (5) Good night (385) Bad night (292)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.

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  (610): Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight. http://tfl.nu/yorp
  Replies (3) Good night (297) Bad night (444)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.

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  (850): Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts. http://tfl.nu/2gw3
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (386)

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