One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.