i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!