Texts From Last Night

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  (707): View more from California

  im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.

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  (707): im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt. http://tfl.nu/7lkv
  Replies (25) Good night (1052) Bad night (541)
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  (858): View more from California

  You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

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  (858): You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat. http://tfl.nu/yzbr
  Replies (19) Good night (12764) Bad night (1087)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.

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  (863): I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm. http://tfl.nu/3uu7
  Replies (27) Good night (2186) Bad night (706)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.

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  (937): I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide. http://tfl.nu/dybq
  Replies (4) Good night (3126) Bad night (928)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.

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  (503): Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake. http://tfl.nu/amef
  Replies (18) Good night (5478) Bad night (1809)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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  (716): I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine. http://tfl.nu/zg3z
  Replies (9) Good night (3882) Bad night (802)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.

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  (432): I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame. http://tfl.nu/e3aq
  Replies (13) Good night (708) Bad night (3472)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.

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  (360): Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home. http://tfl.nu/g7t7
  Replies (8) Good night (1727) Bad night (736)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.

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  (979): It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun. http://tfl.nu/ajrj
  Replies (6) Good night (1852) Bad night (882)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.

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  (+61): I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/104i
  Replies (10) Good night (1467) Bad night (554)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad

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  (812): Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad http://tfl.nu/owz5
  Replies (5) Good night (856) Bad night (578)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.

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  (785): I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight. http://tfl.nu/7eeo
  Replies (3) Good night (658) Bad night (652)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.

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  (727): Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best. http://tfl.nu/j1qb
  Replies (3) Good night (1084) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing

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  (702): We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing http://tfl.nu/3hel
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (334)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty

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  (416): I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty http://tfl.nu/ufna
  Replies (6) Good night (407) Bad night (966)

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