Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?

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(516): Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right? http://tfl.nu/loiq

Replies (9) Good night (3747) Bad night (644)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.

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(240): Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names. http://tfl.nu/nfcq

Replies (26) Good night (1136) Bad night (5321)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.

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(843): i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job. http://tfl.nu/jeil

Replies (56) Good night (10173) Bad night (1105)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.

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(802): Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good. http://tfl.nu/wigs

Replies (9) Good night (2213) Bad night (4093)
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(434): View more from Virginia

Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.

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(434): Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other. http://tfl.nu/93c9

Replies (7) Good night (3535) Bad night (1241)
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(314): View more from Missouri

one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.

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(314): one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this. http://tfl.nu/eiot

Replies (6) Good night (1433) Bad night (1305)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.

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(614): I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that. http://tfl.nu/ugav

Replies (10) Good night (1359) Bad night (608)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.

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(919): Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today. http://tfl.nu/hnp2

Replies (12) Good night (6685) Bad night (960)
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(406): View more from Montana

There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland

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(406): There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland http://tfl.nu/keo1

Replies (7) Good night (1503) Bad night (641)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door

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(775): He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door http://tfl.nu/vv4w

Replies (13) Good night (671) Bad night (1958)
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(619): View more from California

It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.

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(619): It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception. http://tfl.nu/8si3

Replies (11) Good night (2879) Bad night (650)
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(207): View more from Maine

Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...

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(207): Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final... http://tfl.nu/w8p1

Replies (4) Good night (1496) Bad night (471)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.

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(573): Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid. http://tfl.nu/npnk

Replies (4) Good night (522) Bad night (461)
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(585): View more from New York

Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!

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(585): Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?! http://tfl.nu/3ugm

Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (286)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.

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(443): I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs. http://tfl.nu/ye8d

Replies (3) Good night (865) Bad night (238)

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