I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties