Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha

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(410): Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha http://tfl.nu/68fw

Replies (1) Good night (1088) Bad night (551)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I am in a vortex of obligation.

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(717): I am in a vortex of obligation. http://tfl.nu/iw17

Replies (3) Good night (632) Bad night (1561)
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(916): View more from California

Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice

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(916): Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice http://tfl.nu/ob9j

Replies (76) Good night (2726) Bad night (1577)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.

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(901): Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks. http://tfl.nu/cmzt

Replies (21) Good night (711) Bad night (4575)
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(489): View more from

watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .

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(489): watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on . http://tfl.nu/coqw

Replies (48) Good night (5884) Bad night (1081)
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(303): View more from Colorado

friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension

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(303): friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension http://tfl.nu/bl0j

Replies (46) Good night (1690) Bad night (5138)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.

(416): View more from Toronto

Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!

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(519): Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit. (416): Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?! http://tfl.nu/iavy

Replies (39) Good night (10334) Bad night (1171)
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(858): View more from California

I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...

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(858): I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal... http://tfl.nu/9xti

Replies (20) Good night (1372) Bad night (3196)
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(760): View more from California

double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors

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(760): double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors http://tfl.nu/3oh4

Replies (10) Good night (3653) Bad night (773)
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(989): View more from Michigan

If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back

(906): View more from Michigan

I resent that

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(989): If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back (906): I resent that http://tfl.nu/qneu

Replies (6) Good night (2890) Bad night (1630)
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(989): View more from Michigan

My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war

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(989): My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war http://tfl.nu/yle2

Replies (12) Good night (2588) Bad night (631)
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(703): View more from Virginia

it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp

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(703): it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp http://tfl.nu/dn3p

Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (1603)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.

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(201): I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free. http://tfl.nu/mbnk

Replies (4) Good night (2417) Bad night (774)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera

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(410): I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera http://tfl.nu/vxvj

Replies (4) Good night (1015) Bad night (443)
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(516): View more from New York

today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.

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(516): today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror. http://tfl.nu/6dpn

Replies (1) Good night (665) Bad night (366)

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