real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral