I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I could fuck to npr.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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