Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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