They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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