...so i touched it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
