She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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