Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
