..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
