WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
