$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just found puke in my bra..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
