remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
two words: eviction party
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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