i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
