their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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