She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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