I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
