D3 body, D1 cock
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
