Who wears a wallet chain?!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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