stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
