apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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