I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
