Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
