Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
