At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
